What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why doesn't California have the tools, people, means to put out these fires even though they know there will be fires every year?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do Brits drive a lot more dangerously compared to Americans? Is there just no courtesy when driving in the UK?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Do you believe that social media companies should allow posts spreading misinformation about election results, as suggested by Rep. Jim Jordan?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

My landlord just sold the house I’m renting from her. She included all fixtures, that I bought and installed. Does she have this right?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What have I done wrong? How can I start over?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

How did Neo defeat the architect at the end of The Matrix: Reloaded? Was it solely due to his belief in himself or were there other factors at play?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

How can one learn to talk frankly?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What are my 10 favorite rock record album opening tracks?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why are black people harassed more by police officers?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.